"Just like any other language, if you don't understand it, you will never know what is bein said"
Understand what is not being said.
Communication consists of more than spoken words. When you have a conversation, only part of what you’re saying and hearing is conveyed through speech.
The communication actually starts long before the first words are spoken. Before you open your mouth to say a word, the people around you have already begun to form their impression of what you’re going to say.
Everything about you; from the clothes you chose to wear to the way you lift your hand gives them clues to how you see yourself and how you see them.
If you could control the subtle nuances and read them from other people, you’d be more in control of the conversation and interaction, because you would understand the hidden messages that you don’t neccessarily hear.
There are gestures, expressions and motions that we use in everyday life that communicate as much as the words that we use. Some of them are universal.
Some only make sense within the context of a particular society, and some are individualized.
Knowing and understanding the unspoken rituals and customs of body language can help you gain acceptance, blend in or if you wish, stand out.
By learning how to listen with your eyes, you can pick up the subtle cues that tell you when someone is receptive to you.
You can also change the direction of your conversation when you notice someone’s attention is wandering.
At the same time, you can make your own communication more effective by paying attention to the way your face, hands, body and legs tell others what you’re really saying.
Non-verbal communication is broken down into different subsets.
- Facial Expressions
The secret to getting people to open up to you and share their honest thoughts and feelings is active listening.
In any conversation there are two parts – telling and listening. When you listen actively, you encourage others to open up and tell you more.
By listening with your body, you engage the person who is talking with you, drawing them in and making them more comfortable. The more comfortable they are with you, the more they like you.
And the more they like you, the more likely they are to do what you want them to do.
Your body is what prisoners call “a snitch”. It promises to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
When you say one thing but believe another, your body will snitch on you, it will give you away without a second thought! Unless you understand how to control what it’s saying.
When our words don’t match our body language, we send a mixed message that triggers uncertainty in others.
Ninety percent of the time, when our bodies and our words don’t match, others will believe the body language even if they don’t consciously recognise exactly what it is that they’re reading.
Over the years, kinesics (body movement) experts have noticed hidden ‘tells’ that can offer you a shorthand guide to what others are thinking.
There are certain gestures, motions and positions that crop up often enough that they appear to be universal.
Remember though, no single gesture should be read in isolation, but rather placed in the context of the situation and the rest of the person’s body language.